Ahhh, that's more like it - I wake to the sun beaming through the curtains (that I forgot to shut last night) - actually, it's done me a favour, as I forgot to set my alarm - d'oh! Still, plenty of time before work for ironing a shirt, and a quick coffee.

Talking of shirts, I wasn't really sure what the dress-code was for work over here, so I didn't bring my suits (or shirts that I'd wear with my suits). I simply brought 4 short-sleeved shirts, and a pair of "going-out" trousers - well, I needed maximum suitcase space for shorts and t-shirts, as well as Gillingham memorabilia! I can see that I have two options; I can try and convert their dress code, or get myself back down to Fantasy Island quick-smartish!

Well, that's enough early-morning pap - I'm off to work, a little bit nervy it must be said - not for me, but I hope they realise what they've let themselves in for...

...well, what a day! Arrived at work early - can't remember the last time I wasn't rushing around like a blue-arsed fly trying to get to work on time - and didn't get lost. Running a bit low on fuel though, so I guess I'll have to tackle a "gas" station sometime soon.

The office is quite plush and open plan - no separate office space for the big-wigs, which I'm all in favour of! Lots of empty desks though, so I manage to pop-a-squat and begin to have a play around their system. Nice setup! I'm told that the dude (Chad - no offence to my learned American friends, but Chad is an English slang term for poo - *snigger*) who's going to be inducting me is off sick for the day! I'm not too sure if it was a genuine illness, or whether he'd been put off me by reading these journal entries!!! Although they don't call it induction here, they call it "Orientation" - I could've done with some of that yesterday!!! So I spend the morning going through all their documentation, setting myself up on their system, and generally settling-in - there's some good folk here, so I think I'm going to get on just fine.

After an hour, I find that I'm everyone's "buddy", and everything is "awesome" - it's all completely alien to me, but they do genuinely mean it when they say "have a nice day" - unlike the blood-sucking tobacconist!

Hiep (the guy who's replaced me in Dartford) sends an email to everyone here, detailing his experiences with UK driving. It pleases me to see him write that we drive too fast and too close, and our right-turns are made solely by negotiating a round thing in the road - my advice to him is to be as aggressive on the road as everyone else - what am I saying, he's driving MY car!?! He seems to have settled-in OK though, which I'm pleased to hear - I wonder how many times he's driven past his nearest McDonald's!!!

In the afternoon I meet up with a guy called Ryon, and we visit one of his clients - the University of California, Irvine. They've got a fairly large setup (well, it's larger than any of our clients, but everything here is bigger, so I should've expected it!) and the IT guys we meet here are pretty cool. We have a quick meeting, to discuss some ideas, then onto the techie stuff (wont bore you with the details). I must say though, the Internet here is quicker than a dead otter after 15 bottles of Smirnoff Ice!

We finish up around half 5, and I'm informed that I have an early-morning meeting tomorrow (and every Wednesday) at 07:15 - nice! I somehow knew that Glen's inception of the Tuesday-morning book club had been borne out of his US visit earlier in the year - but it's cool, as it'll give me a chance to meet all the team.

On the drive home I remember that I'm running low on fuel, so I head to the nearest garage. This is where things go a little-bit tits-up - on a par with my GPS experience - so bear with me! For the benefit of my American viewers, in UK gas stations, we pull up, load the nozzle into the hole, fill it up, and pay our money - STOP thinking prostitutes Mr Everitt - it's quite a simple process. But not here!

I take the nozzle from the pump, and load it into the car, expecting the pump to zero itself - it doesn't! I spot someone else getting out their car, and head to a wall-mounted machine on the forecourt, where he inserts his card, presses some buttons, then returns to his vehicle and fills-up! Ah-ha - you have to pay first - no problem! I select the pump number, insert my card, enter my PIN, and return to the pump - it's zeroed - YEY! So I put the nozzle in the car, and nothing happens! I'm pulling my trigger viciously, but still nothing, not even a dribble - this is most unusual!!

So I go into the shop to see the dude - I express my ignorance, and he kindly tells me what I need to do - the machine doesn't take credit cards - d'oh! So I put a note into the machine instead, and try again - still nothing! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?? Finally, the dude from the shop comes out - embarrassment overcomes me like pork-pie seller in a Jewish festival - takes the nozzle from me, whacks it in the motor, AND LIFTS A LEVER ON THE PUMP! It was as simple as that all along - HOW STUPID OF ME NOT TO KNOW THIS ALREADY!

The car fills itself up to the value already paid - very clever - and I get out of there quick-smart. I feel like a right idiot, but not for the first time since being here, and I'm sure it wont be the last! Hey-ho!! I drive back to the hotel in shame, considering whether to share these experiences with you, for fear of ridicule - I decide that life's too short to worry about you lot taking the piss out of me - and if nothing else, it'll give you something to laugh at in the morning - nothing better than staring the day off with a smile on your face, even if it is only due to my misfortune!

Due to my early start tomorrow, I'm gonna grab some hotel food tonight, have a few beers at the bar, and hit the hay. Unless something rather amusing happens, that's it for today! Hope you're all OK!

END OF DAY 4