Saturday morning - the day I've been dreading for the last 5 weeks is finally here - I have to drop off Jemma at the airport. We don't have any problems getting there (no bomb-scares, no cancellations, no weather-conditions) so I guess this is really it - she's really going home. As I've said throughout this journal, we've had some great times, and I genuinely wish she could stay here. But she's got a life to get back to at home, and work were kind enough to give her the time off, so she can't really stay - but it doesn't stop me wanting her to!

As I watch Jemma walk through to the departure lounge, I think back and wander if there's anything I've done in my life that's been harder for me to do than this. I know I can't stop her going, but I feel as though a part of me is getting on that plane as well. I know I'll be seeing her again in 7 weeks, but having just spent 5 weeks together, I feel like I've lost my hip-attachment. We did everything together, and now that's not going to be the case - *sniff sniff*!

I'm sure many of you reading this have been through similar emotions, so you know where I'm coming from. Hugo, Craig, Tina, Beer, Rainham, Neil, Marc - it'd be like losing Marlon King - a real sense of loss, and a time where you'd need to be comforted heavily, preferably by a few cheeky morgans, and a rousing chorus of "Home of the Shouting Men" - but I know I'm not going to have that comfort! As I drive away from the airport, I start to miss home (probably for the first time since I've been here). I've been on my own before, so it's nothing alien to me, but I do miss having my family (my real family and my close friends) around. Mum, Dad, Sister, Granddad, and all my friends - I'm missing you guys, and can't wait to see you all!

I think about the things I've missed (or will miss) out on whilst being here:

* 30th September - Dad's 50th and Ami's 25th birthday's
* October - Hugo's birthday
* 26th October - Richard's 25th birthday
* 25th November - Jon's 25th birthday
* Gillingham FC - my weekly gatherings up and down the country, consisting of much alcohol and merriment
* Roland's Guinness - nothing here comes close!
* Tuesday nights at Craig and Phil's
* Kelly's first day at inhouseIT - I guess she had quite an easy start, without me being there to make it hell for her!! (Hope you've settled-in OK darlin'!)

But I also count myself very lucky for being given this opportunity, so I'm not too down-hearted!

I head out to seek accommodation - I have one night left in the Comfort Suites, and then it's time to move on. I feel like the dog from the Littlest Hobo - who remembers that one?? #Maybe tomorrow, I'll wanna settle down, until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on# - I've been somewhat nomadic since my college days - one night here, one night there, and it seems to have been like that since I got here - I guess some things never change! I saw an advert for some apartments costing $650 for four weeks - reasonable price, and not too far from the office - so it has to be worth a try!

Worth a try - more like a trying experience! Remember the horror stories about the Ramada? This would give the Ramada a run for it's money. Dank, dirty, NO hot water (not that going without a wash bothers me, aint that the truth Mum!!) - full of sweaties too! Decide to head back to the office to see what the Internet has to offer!

1 week at the Hyatt Newporter - a 3-star deluxe in Newport Beach - $29 a night - result! I book a week there, in the hope that I'll have ample time to look at a more respectable apartment. Have a stack of washing to do, so I retire to the hotel, try and work out how to use the washing machines/ dryers, and get a sense of accomplishment when all my clothes come out as expected! I keep expecting a voice to say "Tea" - but the voice doesn't come - I didn't think I'd miss those demanding (yet good-natured) tones, but I do - still, only 7 weeks!

The baseball's in playoff mode at the moment, so I spend the evening in front of the tele, pausing at the breaks to pack my suitcase. From what I hear, the Newporter is first-class - it's where Glen (my boss) stayed when he came over earlier in the year - so I look forward to my new home. Crawling into an empty-bed isn't much fun, but I better get used to it - and there's no-one to offend with my nocturnal trumpeting!!

END OF DAY 43